You want to sign up for a ‘girl power’ race with a pretty lax time constraint, a fun course thru Epcot and the Magic Kingdom and A LOT of Disney characters along the way? Then the Princess 1/2 marathon is for you!
Mile 1 – 2 girls next me discuss how their pace is too fast after jogging for about 5 minutes. I mentally giggle and think, “honey, you’ve got a ways to go – slow down!”
Mile 2 – I see the same t-shirt I saw during the full marathon in January. And damn if I can’t remember what it says. Something like, “there will be a time when I can’t run a marathon, but a lifetime of knowing that I did.”
Mile 2.5 – A girl dressed as Jasmine is jingling all over the place. Thankfully she passes me sooner than later.
Mile 3 – The classic religious sign is “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me”, but I saw a new one today that I liked! 2 Corinthians 4:17 – “For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.” Good stuff.
Mile 3.3 – A Hawaiian style band is playing. Like, big giant drums and all. Pretty cool!
Mile 4 – It’s foggy as all hell! It kind-of feels good, like a mist of rain. Or am I just covered in sweat?
Mile 4.5 – Somebody has a sign on the shape of her friend’s giant head. It’s amazing.
Mile 5 – It’s the Magic Kingdom! Once again, I’m that jerk who hops on the sidewalk to get off of crowded Main Street.
Mile 6 – This entire time I’ve been subtracting 14 minutes from the previous clock time, but I start to lose my mind. I’ve messed up my timing! I need to do sub-14 minute miles to make it under 3 hours. I think I just messed up.
Mile 6.5 – Damn! I’ve caught up to jingling Jasmine again!
Mile 7 – As I pass a line of girls waiting to take a photo with a guy in a tux holding a glass running shoe on a pillow (Cinderella style), I’m reminded of the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. “Oh, dressing up as (insert Princess here), REAL original!” (original quote – “oh, wedding in Hawaii, REAL original.”) Don’t mind me, I’m just a jerk.
Mile 7.5 – “Let It Go” from Frozen is blasting. The girl next to me is (and I mean, INCHES from me) suddenly bursts out in song. It takes all my efforts not to kink my elbow back and punch her in the face. Again, don’t mind me, I’m just a jerk.
Mile 8 – There’s Britney Belvin, super fan again. I jokingly ask for chocolate, and she has some! I don’t take any. I immediately regret that decision as I become STARVING later!
Mile 8.5 – Somebody kicks a piece of hard candy and it rolls in front of me. It’s out of the package, so it’s all dirty and hairy. My first response, “mmmmm, that looks good!”
Mile 9 – I see Luna Bar signs everywhere. Later, I see Luna bar employees. Later, I see a Luna Bar tent. Are they giving out Luna Bars?!? No! They are just cheering me on. Damn you Luna Bar, I’m starving!
Mile 10 – Almost done!
Mile 11 – Stupid uphill on ramp.
Mile 12 – I run into Jackie, a FB friend. She tells me that I’ll finish in under 3 hours, no problem! (turns out, she lied!)
Mile 12.5 – I’m attempting to put on “all I do is win, win, win no matter what!”, but my ipod randomly shuffles over to the Wall-E soundtrack! That’s not pumping me up at all.
Mile 13 – Sprinting time! I see the time ahead says 3 hours and 36 min. I’m not sure when I actually started, but I think I had to cross at 3 hours and 30 min to meet my time. Nuts.
Mile 13.1 – Some couple is super sprinting past me. Kudos to you both!
Mile 13.2 – I could throw up if push came to shove. And they are giving out cold towels. BEST THING EVER!
1 hour later – I get my text message with my time. 3 hours and 3 minutes. Poop.