Pregnancy is pretty cool. Well, actually it’s painful and weird, but in my heart I love little Bubba so much, and I would do anything to keep him safe.
However, it’s also pretty gross.
You may have heard about Jenny McCarthy’s book that put her back on the map a few years ago. She describes all the gross and freaky stuff that came along with her pregnancy. So far, I don’t have many of the things that she suffered with, but I have a few stories of my own.
Good for you cute kid, but I barely can.
I don’t know if it’s my big gut or the fact that my hips are in extraordinary pain or that fact that my back paralyzes me when I wake up in the morning, but bending over to wipe my own ass is nearly impossible.
It doesn’t help that I’m eating a lot of fruit and other healthy items, so I’m in the bathroom more than usual.
So, long story short, I think I’m ‘cover all my bases in the bathroom’ if you know that I mean, but I can’t be too sure.
Isn’t there like a giant wand that they sell to older people for #2 time? I should look into it.