Ouch!

I always thought to myself “having kids/being pregnant looks like a tough challenge, but {insert every idiot on TV here} is doing it, so I can do it too!”

But, damn, this is not easy.

I assume everybody is totally different, but I’m personally really struggling. 2 weeks ago as I was driving home from work feeling super sick, and randomly crying in the car because I just hurt in general, I realized that I AM 38. Maybe I’m on the older side, so that’s why I feel like I’m not handling it well. Or maybe I’m just a huge wuss. I’ll let you be the judge.

Something hurts all. the. time.

First of all, my chest bone feels like it’s tearing away from … whatever muscle the chest bone is connected to. My OBGYN said that’s a common thing during pregnancy. I’m so glad sharp, stabbing pains in the middle of my chest is common.

Of course, little Bubba is a kicking machine. I swear she’s like the guy from the movie Escape from Alcatraz. I think she somehow got a hold of a spoon and is boring her way out of my right side. It always scares me and causes me to ‘yelp’ out loud, but then I encourage the stretching and kicking. Get those little muscles moving! However, it’s very uncomfortable.

Don’t get me started on my back. During my 2nd trimester I would wake up in the middle of the night in excruciating pain and all the pillows in the world weren’t helping. Magically, the sleeping back pain went away a few months ago. But now I just have random back pain from sitting on … well, sitting on anything! Work is currently killing me. I’m constantly fidgeting around with a blanket balled up on my lower back, that’s doing absolutely nothing.

The problem is, I HAVE to sit down 23/7 because my feet are also killing me! My choices are stand up and kill my feet, or sit down and kill my back.

Now let’s talk about my inner thighs, because I’m sure that’s what you’re really interested in. I haven’t worn a pair of pants since May and I haven’t worn a pair of shorts since June (until a week ago when a friend gave me a pair of maternity shorts – thank you Molly!!!), so I’ve been wearing dresses and skirts every single day. It’s skin-on-skin rub action all day long. If I walk around a lot, I get a massive rash and it burns, burns, burns! I can lotion up and use baby powder, and it usually clears up quickly. But if I’m already out and about and the burn starts … there is no relief!

This next one I’m assuming is totally normal, but the skin on my stomach is super thin (I assume that’s how stretched skin works). Now, I’m not going to complain about my skin, because I don’t have any stretch marks yet (which is a total miracle, because I have hip stretch marks just from being an adult). Sometimes I feel a jolt of pain on my skin. I assume that’s my skin stretching. If you touch my skin with anything sharp … like the corner of a piece of paper (because THAT’S super duper sharp right?!?), it feels like you’re stabbing me with Jason Vorhees’ machete.

cabin_fever_xlgAnd now … the worst pain ever … Last week I picked the tiniest scab (like the size of a pin head) on my stomach and it started bleeding like I cut my arm off. I tried putting a little square of toilet paper on it (like if a man cut his face shaving), but that did nothing to stop the gushing blood, so I slapped on a band aid. A few hours later, I assumed the bleeding was done (it was), so I attempted to take the band aid off. Since, I guess, I was tearing a band aid off of tissue paper thin skin it felt like I was tearing the muscle off of my bones. Remember the scene from Cabin Fever when that infected girl is shaving her legs, but she’s just peeling all her leg skin off? Well, that’s what I felt like. That was an unexpected hardship. Note to self – never put a band aid on a pregnant belly again.

I’ve got about 33 days left. I can make it, I know I can. But I’ll complain about it every step of the way … 🙂

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2 thoughts on “Ouch!

  1. I dropped a spoon in the kitchen this morning and because Im finding it difficukt to bend down (thanks to my expanding belly) i just stood there and cried until my partner picked it up… hormones are great things!

    • Ha ha ha!!! Yeah, I can’t pick up anything either. I’ve been using my toes to pick up articles of clothing that fall to the floor.

      Forget bending over to shave my legs though! 🙂

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