Notes from the 2018 Princess 1/2 marathon

74bd06dd742555487c43ef5e4ec35925Well, here we go again.  I’ve done little to no running since marathon weekend (1.5 months ago) b/c my knee and ankle have been a little wonky.  Also, that super shiny Snow White apple medal calls …

Walking the 1.5 miles to the corral:  A volunteer tells me they are proud of me.  Oh hell yeah, the Damn Proud shirt has returned!

Waiting the 1.5 hours in the corral:  Man, I need to poop.  Why did I eat Frosted Mini Wheats in the car.

Mile 1:  A water stop already?  Yes please!  OMG, the cop a the top of the hill has a Dopey medal on.  I feel like that’s a breach in police dress code, but it’s adorable.

Mile 2:  People are dumping their tutus already.  When will they ever learn that a giant tutu is super duper annoying.  There’s also some crazy ass line for some Princesses (or maybe Princes).  Also, the leaders are passing us on their way back to Epcot already.  They’ll be done in no time, and I still have about 3 hours to go.  #jealous

Mile 3:  I pass some girl with a WINTER COAT.  A full on puffy winter coat.  I also see a guy with no shirt on with little “Maui” decor drawn on his back (and I assume chest, but I’m behind him).  Now that’s a smart man.  You’re outnumbered about 999 woman : 1 man, and you figured a cute and classy way to be shirtless.  Genius.

Mile 4:  I’ve been following/passing/following/passing a running with a sign on her back that says “visually impaired runner”  Then I lose her.  I’m giggling because I think “I can’t find the visually impaired runner, as that ironic or rude?”

Mile 4.5:  Gross … roadkill.

Mile 5:  We’re running down a big hill.  And I think I’m about to pee my pants.  Damn gravity.  Keep the pee in my bladder!

Mile 6:  I wish I had sunglasses (I left them in my car)! Also, where did I park?  I finally go pee in the men’s room in the Magic Kingdom.  I just yell, “I’M COMING IN!”  I figured nobody would be in there (it was about 1/2 men and 1/2 women).

67b0b4d0cb787274f7e06476b2e4dbc7Mile 7:  Nuts!  I thought this was mile 8.  I guess I passed out for a bit.  I also pass the cutest girl with dreadlocks.  Dreadlocks are on my bucket list.  It will happen!  Jingling Esmeralda passes me (Google image for reference.)  Good riddance!

Mile 7.5:  I eat my fruit bar only because I’m afraid it’s going to fall out of my pocket and I’m going to need it later.

Mile 7.8:  It’s joke time on the course:  Who is a cow’s favorite Princess?  Moo-lan!

81lajt8anjl-_sl1500_Mile 8:  I keep getting passed by a guy in khaki shorts.  Seriously, he’s just walking at a chill pace, and blowing by me.  He also has a sweet mustace.  And the food on the course is sport beans!!!  I take 5 (should’ve taken more) and cram them in my little tiny race belt.

Mile 9:  Isn’t it weird how your legs just keep moving, even though you want them to stop?  Go legs go!  Khaki shorts and I are still in neck and neck.  I make it a goal to finish before him, but I’m not confident in myself.

Mile 10:  A lady next to me is putting peppermint essential oil behind her ears.  I only know this because I asked what she was doing.  She said it helps cool you down.  Side note – I feel really good and strong!

Mile 10.1:  I was wrong, I’m extremely tired.  I also am really close to pooping my pants.  However, I think I’ve passed khaki shorts for good!

Mile 11:  A couple in front of me is holding hands.  To finish “strong”, I start a plan of eating 1 sport bean, then jogging for about 6 seconds.  Eat, jog, eat, jog.  All I keep thinking is, “you just did 26 miles a month ago.  This is just a ‘lame’ 13 miles.  Push through you jerk!”  So I keep eating sport beans and jogging a bit.

maxresdefaultMile 12:  The DJ is counting how many Ariel and Snow White costumes he can find in a 30 second window. Hilarious b/c seriously EVERYBODY is dressed Ariel and Snow White.  However, kudos so the Ariel with the shirt that says “new legs, who dis?”  I love it.

Mile 13:  So close, yet so far.

Mile 13.1:  Sheesh, so much saw dust covering up puke on the finish line.

Walking to the food section:  “Congratulations, you just finished a half marathon!”, photo pass photographer.  Boooooooooo.  Also, there’s jingling Esmeralda again!!!

#damn proud



Notes from the 2018 WDW Marathon

2016 was supposed to be my last WDW marathon, yet here we are again.  However, I can say with absolute confidence, this is it.  Sheesh, this is hard.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.34.39 PMMy core runDisney friends all signed up for the Dopey challenge about 9 months ago.  I didn’t have $600 or the motivation to do Dopey again (nothing more to prove there) but maybe I could handle “just one more marathon” with the gang.  And … here we go!

If you want to read what was accurately going thru my head,  replace every other word with #$%! and %^&# and $#@!

I proudly (damn proud!) present to you:  Random things that popped into my head during the 2018 WDW Marathon!

Mile 1 – Wow, this isn’t very hard.  Normally mile 1 is hell and I think, “holy crap, I can’t even run 1 mile, none the less 26!”, but this was a breeze.  Probably because I trained for this by only walking 1 mile per day on the treadmill while watching WWE.

Mile 2 – As I remove my headphones desperately trying to remove my 2nd shirt (I’m wearing 4) I really understand where the phrase “pound the pavement” comes from.  This pavement is pounding with thousands of people running!

Mile 3 – A random person suddenly tells me they are proud of me.  It’s because of the ridiculous orange t-shirt I’m wearing that a co-worker gave me.  The temperature at 5am was in the low 40s, so about 7 layers were necessary while waiting in the corrals for the start.  I borrowed many throw away shirts, and this one (from a collage frat) said “damn proud” on the back.  Hell yeah, be proud of me stranger!

tumblr_inline_nje4jorqew1s22qgiMile 4 – I pass a guy dressed as Bowler Hat Guy from Meet the Robinsons. It’s a genius costume.

Mile 5 – Multiple people are now telling me how proud they are of me.  Its’ hilarious.  A guy passes me wearing puffy purple pants and has an Aladdin vest PAINTED on his chest.  What the …?  I also dropped one of my fruit snacks on accident and I can’t stop my legs to pick it up.  It’s a devastating loss.

Mile 6 – Are super duper teeny tiny running shorts (for guys) back in style?  Asking for a friend.

Mile 7 – A guy’s shirt says “10 years volunteering medical, 1st marathon.”  That’s awesome.  I think I have to pee.  I don’t want to break the seal yet.  Last marathon I peed about 8 times.  I don’t have time for that.

Mile 8 – I see a Twizzler on the dirty ground and debate on picking it up.  It’s the most amazing Twizzler I’ve ever seen.  I’m also freaking freezing.  I shouldn’t have thrown away 2 out of my 4 shirts.  I debate on picking up every single glove I see on the ground.  I don’t, basically because I can’t stop my legs from moving.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.03.06 PMMile 9 – I pass a guy dressed as Dug (from Up) and he has a legit “cone of shame” on and everything.  I also pass a shirtless guy with #KyloRenChallenge writing on the back.  Hilarious.

Mile 10 – I’m feeling really good.

Mile 10.3 – I lied!  This really hurts.  I’m never doing this again.

Mile 11 – I’m tempted to pee in a cup because the port-o-potty lines are so long.  I glance down and see my shadow as I’m running and I start to cry (because I’m doing it gosh darn it!).  It’s too early for this crying crap.

Mile 12 – Somebody is wearing an “I did it T-shirt”.  Not quite yet good sir!  An old man passes me with a shirt that say “my first marathon”.  Cheers to you good sir.  And I run into a friend (hi Jackie) as she passes me.

Mile 12.5 – Banana time!

Mile 13 – I find a secret bathroom inside Animal Kingdom.  I pee while eating the banana.  Some guy is cheering for us who is ALREADY DONE and wearing his marathon medal.  Damn.  Another guy jogging in front of me lets out a giant fart.  Farting during a marathon normally equals pooping your pants.  I didn’t stick around to find out.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.15.19 PMMile 14 – It’s my buddy Liz!  Seeing a friendly face is always a little boost.  (the boost lasts for 12 seconds)  Time to take candy from strangers.  Some spectator has a scarf like the banner from Jurassic Park.  It’s amazing and I want it.

Mile 15 – My running pants have a teeny tiny pocket in the back waist band where I keep my chap stick.  So, basically I’m using ass-chap stick.  My calves are on fire.  I take off the DAMN PROUD shirt, but keep it dangling around my neck.  I’m keeping this ridiculous shirt for life.

Mile 16 – Time to take pretzels from a stranger.  Somebody’s sign says, “only 14 miles to Universal. Your choice!”  Ha ha ha.  I pass somebody wearing a really long skirt.  Not a running shirt, just a random long skirt.  

Mile 17 – I thought this would be mile 18.  I think I’m falling behind the required pace.  I’m still doing my run/walk routine, which is kind-of a miracle. 

Mile 18 – I step in some sand to pass somebody and the blisters on my right toes basically explode.  I’m running incredibly slow at this point.

Mile 19 – I ate my 2nd banana while going to the bathroom.  This time it was a port-a-potty.  I’m not ashamed.

Mile 20 – I take a fireball shot from a stranger.  Holy $%&*, that stuff is terrible.  Somebody’s sign says, “The marathon cost $180.  You only have $34.97 left”.  Quite possibly my favorite sign.  I see people packing up water.  The next water stop can’t be gone!

Mile 21 – The water stop isn’t gone.  Thank god.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.05.12 PMMile 22 – I attempt to run down a hill and I look like a complete buffoon.  Imagine Hector the hobbling skeleton from the movie Coco and that’s my pathetic attempting to jog.  Rumor has it the cut off people are still 3 miles behind me. I’m almost to Hollywood Studios where I’m safe.

Mile 23 – I think my hamstrings just fell off.  I want to go home.  I’m crying.

Mile 24 – I just burst into ugly tears saying congratulations to an old man who has “100th marathon” written on his t-shirt.  I’m also officially safe at this point and can’t be picked up for going too slow.  Best feeling in the entire world. 

Mile 25 – I turn on my “all I do is win, win, win no matter what” by DJ Khaled.  Normally it pumps me up to run even though I’m a walking zombie.  It doesn’t work this time.  I just put  my head down and plow forward.

Mile 26 – My last “mile 26” sign of my life.  Bittersweet.  There’s a good bathroom here, but I can’t stop now.  Spoiler alert – I should’ve stopped. 

Mile 26.2 – I sprint to the finish line with a single tear down my face.  I’m done. I think my left leg just fell off.  Also, I peed my pants.  

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile.”  -Hall of Fame (The Script)


Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.47.14 PM

Rtic cups rule!

My husband loves finding deals on Amazon. I feel like we could probably retire right now if Amazon didn’t exist.

However, I occasion he does buy something that’s super useful.  Like this cool silver cup.

I think the namebrand version is Yeti.  I believe Walmart has a version as well.  The brand that he bought for me from Amazon is Rtic   (A play on the word “arctic”).

I made a smoothie last night at 7 PM. It was just fruit with a bunch of ice cubes.

This morning at 9 AM the little tiny chunks of shaved ice we’re still chunks of shaved ice.

And now it’s almost 4 PM, and the ice is still chunky.

Now let me preface these findings with the fact that this cup and smoothie has been in the fridge the entire time. However normal ice in the fridge doesn’t last almost 20 hours.

I think the cup was about 15 bucks. Totally worth it.

Hawaii diet!

So I’m still carrying around an extra 20 pounds for being pregnant two years ago.

It’s my own fault really, I haven’t been trying very hard.

Until recently, I’m really buckling down. I think at the thought of going to Hawaii as a beached whale has me really scared. 

To motivate myself I made this silly chart:

It folds up into a little book.  Every time I walk 10,000 steps per day on my fit bit, or do a wrap of 10 arm exercises I cross off a square.

As you can tell, I have a long ways to go.  

Wish me luck!

Amber’s Squat Challenge

squat challenge

I think this speaks for itself. It’s “Amber’s squat challenge … for people who reeeeeeeally don’t like squat challenges.”

We’ve all seen the cute-buns-girl squat challenge. It required a zillion squats per day. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to, and it hurts.

So here’s my wimpy squat challenge. Let’s do it!

It’s Princess 1/2 marathon time again!

Well, it’s time of year again.  It’s Princess half marathon weekend.

My least favorite thing in the world is Princesses, but I do enjoy the thrill and challenge of a ½ marathon.  And I do enjoy hanging out with my running friends.  So I’ll be out at Epcot bright and early on Sunday!

(by ‘bright and early’ I mean around 4am – ouch!)

Normally, for runDisney events, I’m trying to finish in a 14+minute per mile pace.  I  keep trying to get my ½ marathon time under 3 hours.  I came close last year with 3 hours and 3 minutes.

However, this year will be 100% different.  Being pregnant was pretty horrible, and I got 0 exercise.  I still have 30+lbs on me, and my muscles just don’t seem to be responding to anything I try.

My new goal – just to finish!  And I’d really, really, REALY like to finish with a 16 minute/mile (not 16 min 50 seconds, but 16 min and a few seconds).  Disney requires everybody to maintain a 16 min/mile pace.  However, I’ve found that they are pretty lax with this requirement sometimes (especially for the Princess ½ marathon).  Also, I’m in corral J (based on my numerous runDisney marathon and ½ marathons I assume), so that gives me about a 10 or 12 minute head start over the official timer.  So I can actually finish with about 17 min/miles and be just fine.

But for my own pride, I want to finish with in the stated rules.

Wish me luck!

DIY race belt

*diy race beltFor the past couple runDisney events I’ve borrowed my roommates spi-belt (I think that’s what it’s called).

Well, I got married, had a baby, and moved out of the apartment. So no more roommate to borrow stuff from. We’re still friends obviously, but she can’t find her 2nd belt for me to borrow!

Option 1 – go to the runDisney expo and buy one for myself
Option 2 – make one!

If you know me, the only option is always ‘make one!’

WARNING – this was not easy!  I found some directions online, but they really didn’t make any sense.  So I just fumbled my way thru this.  If you give it a try, be patient!  🙂

You’ll need:
*  fabric (I suggest cutting up an old race shirt). All I had lying around the house was an old polo shirt. Not the worlds greatest fabric, but I was too lazy to run to Joann.
*  8″ zipper
*  elastic
*  a clippy thing (I cut this one off of a suitcase!
ALL FREE! (well, I had all this stuff lying around the house)

Step 1:
Cut 2 squares of fabric. One square 8X8″ and the other 6X6″.

Step 2:
Sew the zipper on the 8″ square. My favorite zipper tutorial is from Dana Made It.

Step 3: Take that 6″ square and hem 2 of he sides.

Step 4: Put your elastic thru the 6″ square. Just a tiny tip should be sticking out of one side. Fold one side on to the elastic, then fold the other side over. You’ve made an elastic sandwich!

Step 5: Sew the side where the elastic tip is sticking out.

Step 6: Here’s the tricky part. We need to put these 2 pieces together.

Step 7: I almost want to say, “figure it out on your own!” because this wasn’t easy of obvious.  I turned everything inside out.  I put the elastic piece inside the zipper piece.

Step 8: Then I smooshed it all together! I laid the sides down, then smooshed down the bubble. You’ll see it come together in the next step (I hope!)

Step 9: Ta da! The little flappy 6″ square is connected to the 8″ square.

Step 10: Once you’re 100% sure you’ve done it right (I had to seam rip this apart 2 times before I got it right!), trip the excess.

Step 11: Deal with the other end. Here’s where I was pretty stumped.  I just made a tiny, super ghetto hem.  “Pin and pray!”  That’s always my theory.  You can see how I folded each side to make it look small, but it will expand when you put stuff inside.



Step 12: Ghetto sew on the clips you ripped off some luggage and you’re done! (normally you’d want these pieces to be expandable. However, the elastic I had just slid right out of the clips, so I measured my waist and just sewed. As I lose some baby weight, I can undo it and sew it up again).