Notes from the 2018 Princess 1/2 marathon

74bd06dd742555487c43ef5e4ec35925Well, here we go again.  I’ve done little to no running since marathon weekend (1.5 months ago) b/c my knee and ankle have been a little wonky.  Also, that super shiny Snow White apple medal calls …

Walking the 1.5 miles to the corral:  A volunteer tells me they are proud of me.  Oh hell yeah, the Damn Proud shirt has returned!

Waiting the 1.5 hours in the corral:  Man, I need to poop.  Why did I eat Frosted Mini Wheats in the car.

Mile 1:  A water stop already?  Yes please!  OMG, the cop a the top of the hill has a Dopey medal on.  I feel like that’s a breach in police dress code, but it’s adorable.

Mile 2:  People are dumping their tutus already.  When will they ever learn that a giant tutu is super duper annoying.  There’s also some crazy ass line for some Princesses (or maybe Princes).  Also, the leaders are passing us on their way back to Epcot already.  They’ll be done in no time, and I still have about 3 hours to go.  #jealous

Mile 3:  I pass some girl with a WINTER COAT.  A full on puffy winter coat.  I also see a guy with no shirt on with little “Maui” decor drawn on his back (and I assume chest, but I’m behind him).  Now that’s a smart man.  You’re outnumbered about 999 woman : 1 man, and you figured a cute and classy way to be shirtless.  Genius.

Mile 4:  I’ve been following/passing/following/passing a running with a sign on her back that says “visually impaired runner”  Then I lose her.  I’m giggling because I think “I can’t find the visually impaired runner, as that ironic or rude?”

Mile 4.5:  Gross … roadkill.

Mile 5:  We’re running down a big hill.  And I think I’m about to pee my pants.  Damn gravity.  Keep the pee in my bladder!

Mile 6:  I wish I had sunglasses (I left them in my car)! Also, where did I park?  I finally go pee in the men’s room in the Magic Kingdom.  I just yell, “I’M COMING IN!”  I figured nobody would be in there (it was about 1/2 men and 1/2 women).

67b0b4d0cb787274f7e06476b2e4dbc7Mile 7:  Nuts!  I thought this was mile 8.  I guess I passed out for a bit.  I also pass the cutest girl with dreadlocks.  Dreadlocks are on my bucket list.  It will happen!  Jingling Esmeralda passes me (Google image for reference.)  Good riddance!

Mile 7.5:  I eat my fruit bar only because I’m afraid it’s going to fall out of my pocket and I’m going to need it later.

Mile 7.8:  It’s joke time on the course:  Who is a cow’s favorite Princess?  Moo-lan!

81lajt8anjl-_sl1500_Mile 8:  I keep getting passed by a guy in khaki shorts.  Seriously, he’s just walking at a chill pace, and blowing by me.  He also has a sweet mustace.  And the food on the course is sport beans!!!  I take 5 (should’ve taken more) and cram them in my little tiny race belt.

Mile 9:  Isn’t it weird how your legs just keep moving, even though you want them to stop?  Go legs go!  Khaki shorts and I are still in neck and neck.  I make it a goal to finish before him, but I’m not confident in myself.

Mile 10:  A lady next to me is putting peppermint essential oil behind her ears.  I only know this because I asked what she was doing.  She said it helps cool you down.  Side note – I feel really good and strong!

Mile 10.1:  I was wrong, I’m extremely tired.  I also am really close to pooping my pants.  However, I think I’ve passed khaki shorts for good!

Mile 11:  A couple in front of me is holding hands.  To finish “strong”, I start a plan of eating 1 sport bean, then jogging for about 6 seconds.  Eat, jog, eat, jog.  All I keep thinking is, “you just did 26 miles a month ago.  This is just a ‘lame’ 13 miles.  Push through you jerk!”  So I keep eating sport beans and jogging a bit.

maxresdefaultMile 12:  The DJ is counting how many Ariel and Snow White costumes he can find in a 30 second window. Hilarious b/c seriously EVERYBODY is dressed Ariel and Snow White.  However, kudos so the Ariel with the shirt that says “new legs, who dis?”  I love it.

Mile 13:  So close, yet so far.

Mile 13.1:  Sheesh, so much saw dust covering up puke on the finish line.

Walking to the food section:  “Congratulations, you just finished a half marathon!”, photo pass photographer.  Boooooooooo.  Also, there’s jingling Esmeralda again!!!

#damn proud



Notes from the 2018 WDW Marathon

2016 was supposed to be my last WDW marathon, yet here we are again.  However, I can say with absolute confidence, this is it.  Sheesh, this is hard.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.34.39 PMMy core runDisney friends all signed up for the Dopey challenge about 9 months ago.  I didn’t have $600 or the motivation to do Dopey again (nothing more to prove there) but maybe I could handle “just one more marathon” with the gang.  And … here we go!

If you want to read what was accurately going thru my head,  replace every other word with #$%! and %^&# and $#@!

I proudly (damn proud!) present to you:  Random things that popped into my head during the 2018 WDW Marathon!

Mile 1 – Wow, this isn’t very hard.  Normally mile 1 is hell and I think, “holy crap, I can’t even run 1 mile, none the less 26!”, but this was a breeze.  Probably because I trained for this by only walking 1 mile per day on the treadmill while watching WWE.

Mile 2 – As I remove my headphones desperately trying to remove my 2nd shirt (I’m wearing 4) I really understand where the phrase “pound the pavement” comes from.  This pavement is pounding with thousands of people running!

Mile 3 – A random person suddenly tells me they are proud of me.  It’s because of the ridiculous orange t-shirt I’m wearing that a co-worker gave me.  The temperature at 5am was in the low 40s, so about 7 layers were necessary while waiting in the corrals for the start.  I borrowed many throw away shirts, and this one (from a collage frat) said “damn proud” on the back.  Hell yeah, be proud of me stranger!

tumblr_inline_nje4jorqew1s22qgiMile 4 – I pass a guy dressed as Bowler Hat Guy from Meet the Robinsons. It’s a genius costume.

Mile 5 – Multiple people are now telling me how proud they are of me.  Its’ hilarious.  A guy passes me wearing puffy purple pants and has an Aladdin vest PAINTED on his chest.  What the …?  I also dropped one of my fruit snacks on accident and I can’t stop my legs to pick it up.  It’s a devastating loss.

Mile 6 – Are super duper teeny tiny running shorts (for guys) back in style?  Asking for a friend.

Mile 7 – A guy’s shirt says “10 years volunteering medical, 1st marathon.”  That’s awesome.  I think I have to pee.  I don’t want to break the seal yet.  Last marathon I peed about 8 times.  I don’t have time for that.

Mile 8 – I see a Twizzler on the dirty ground and debate on picking it up.  It’s the most amazing Twizzler I’ve ever seen.  I’m also freaking freezing.  I shouldn’t have thrown away 2 out of my 4 shirts.  I debate on picking up every single glove I see on the ground.  I don’t, basically because I can’t stop my legs from moving.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.03.06 PMMile 9 – I pass a guy dressed as Dug (from Up) and he has a legit “cone of shame” on and everything.  I also pass a shirtless guy with #KyloRenChallenge writing on the back.  Hilarious.

Mile 10 – I’m feeling really good.

Mile 10.3 – I lied!  This really hurts.  I’m never doing this again.

Mile 11 – I’m tempted to pee in a cup because the port-o-potty lines are so long.  I glance down and see my shadow as I’m running and I start to cry (because I’m doing it gosh darn it!).  It’s too early for this crying crap.

Mile 12 – Somebody is wearing an “I did it T-shirt”.  Not quite yet good sir!  An old man passes me with a shirt that say “my first marathon”.  Cheers to you good sir.  And I run into a friend (hi Jackie) as she passes me.

Mile 12.5 – Banana time!

Mile 13 – I find a secret bathroom inside Animal Kingdom.  I pee while eating the banana.  Some guy is cheering for us who is ALREADY DONE and wearing his marathon medal.  Damn.  Another guy jogging in front of me lets out a giant fart.  Farting during a marathon normally equals pooping your pants.  I didn’t stick around to find out.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.15.19 PMMile 14 – It’s my buddy Liz!  Seeing a friendly face is always a little boost.  (the boost lasts for 12 seconds)  Time to take candy from strangers.  Some spectator has a scarf like the banner from Jurassic Park.  It’s amazing and I want it.

Mile 15 – My running pants have a teeny tiny pocket in the back waist band where I keep my chap stick.  So, basically I’m using ass-chap stick.  My calves are on fire.  I take off the DAMN PROUD shirt, but keep it dangling around my neck.  I’m keeping this ridiculous shirt for life.

Mile 16 – Time to take pretzels from a stranger.  Somebody’s sign says, “only 14 miles to Universal. Your choice!”  Ha ha ha.  I pass somebody wearing a really long skirt.  Not a running shirt, just a random long skirt.  

Mile 17 – I thought this would be mile 18.  I think I’m falling behind the required pace.  I’m still doing my run/walk routine, which is kind-of a miracle. 

Mile 18 – I step in some sand to pass somebody and the blisters on my right toes basically explode.  I’m running incredibly slow at this point.

Mile 19 – I ate my 2nd banana while going to the bathroom.  This time it was a port-a-potty.  I’m not ashamed.

Mile 20 – I take a fireball shot from a stranger.  Holy $%&*, that stuff is terrible.  Somebody’s sign says, “The marathon cost $180.  You only have $34.97 left”.  Quite possibly my favorite sign.  I see people packing up water.  The next water stop can’t be gone!

Mile 21 – The water stop isn’t gone.  Thank god.

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.05.12 PMMile 22 – I attempt to run down a hill and I look like a complete buffoon.  Imagine Hector the hobbling skeleton from the movie Coco and that’s my pathetic attempting to jog.  Rumor has it the cut off people are still 3 miles behind me. I’m almost to Hollywood Studios where I’m safe.

Mile 23 – I think my hamstrings just fell off.  I want to go home.  I’m crying.

Mile 24 – I just burst into ugly tears saying congratulations to an old man who has “100th marathon” written on his t-shirt.  I’m also officially safe at this point and can’t be picked up for going too slow.  Best feeling in the entire world. 

Mile 25 – I turn on my “all I do is win, win, win no matter what” by DJ Khaled.  Normally it pumps me up to run even though I’m a walking zombie.  It doesn’t work this time.  I just put  my head down and plow forward.

Mile 26 – My last “mile 26” sign of my life.  Bittersweet.  There’s a good bathroom here, but I can’t stop now.  Spoiler alert – I should’ve stopped. 

Mile 26.2 – I sprint to the finish line with a single tear down my face.  I’m done. I think my left leg just fell off.  Also, I peed my pants.  

You can go the distance
You can run the mile
You can walk straight through hell with a smile.”  -Hall of Fame (The Script)


Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 7.47.14 PM

runDisney Princess 5k

I realize I’m about 2 months late on this post, but man, I’ve gotten really lazy!

About 20 of my friends and I ‘ran’ the Princess 5k.  I put ‘ran’ in quotes because it was mostly just messing around inside Epcot.  We stopped at almost every character stop (I think we skipped Mickey outside of America).  As we were in line for Genie we saw the golf cart coming up the way to ‘sweep’ people.  After our photo we just sprinted ahead.  I don’t think they actually sweep people, but rumor has it that they just shorted to course to you finish.

While the 5k was a fun time, it did seem like a really high price tag for just a casual walk around Epcot.

Notes from the 2016 WDW Marathon

I know what you’re thinking.  Didn’t I read this same post back in 2014?  Yes, yes you did.  I decided to torture myself once again.

Actually, this time it was supposed to be motivation.  I signed up in April 2015 (also convinced 2 friends to sign up with me – Michelle & Brooke).  I thought paying $200 for the WDW marathon would be great motivation to lose some of this Bubba baby weight and whip myself back into shape.

Fast forward to 1/10/16.  I’m still carrying around those 30 lbs, and I’m scared out of my mind of the 26.2 miles ahead.  I’m trying to compare this feeling to something else.  It’s like … I’m scared because I know it’s going to hurt … but I’m excited to try to conquer it at the same time.  But I’m scared again because I’m not sure I can do it.

Here’s the run down of me slowing dying:

Mile 1 – Holy moly, this weather is fantastic.  It’s 5:30am in early January and I’m rocking a tank top and shorts and I’m soooooo comfortable.  Only in Florida.  Love it!

Mile 2 – I’ve officially gone farther than I’ve ever trained this entire year.  Only 24 more miles to go.  #pathetic

Mile 3 – Holy crap … it’s so hot!!!  Or, more specifically, HUMID.  I’m drenched in sweat and the sun isn’t even up yet.

Mile 4 –  I keep passing, then being passed by some guy in a grey tank top.  I say “hi grey tank top” every time I pass him.

Mile 5 – Turns out, grey tank top’s name is Bryan, and he’s from Virginia.  He’s doing the Goofy Challenge and his legs are a bit sore from yesterday.  He’s not a marathon rookie either.

Mile 6 – I lose Michelle and Brooke somewhere in the Magic Kingdom.  I also lose grey tank top.  However, I see a sign with a picture of Kylo Ren (from the new Star Wars) with the words, “SPOILER ALERT – you’re killing this race!”   I can’t stop laughing.


Mile 8 –  I found grey tank top again!  No Michelle or Brooke though.

Mile 9 – I pass a banner that says “15k”.  I have no idea what that means.

Mile 10 – Ahhhhhh … the smelly water treatment plant backstage Walt Disney World.

Mile 11 – It’s a ‘down and back’!!!  Meaning, you run down a road for about a 1/2 mile, turn around and come right back.  Those are the worst, because you can see where you’re going and see where you need to be.

Mile 11.2 – It’s banana time!!!

Mile 12 – We’re finally inside Animal Kingdom.  I’m also getting really dizzy and nauseous.  I’m drinking water and yellow Powerade every mile.  I’m not sure what to do.  I’m scared.

Mile 13 – We’re half done.  I’ve never understood how people could just give up while doing a marathon.  Why not just keep plowing ahead until Disney picks you up because you’re too slow?  But now I understand.  I so totally understand.  I’m in so much pain.  I’m just a walking zombie.  Going home and sitting down would be so great right now.

Mile 14 – Somebody is passing out gummy bears.  Praise the lord.  I also see Kathryn (a friend) cheering, and she yells to me.  It sounds so dumb, but a friendly face in the crowd really lifts up your spirits.

Mile 15 – I’ve been following a larger woman who’s been ‘jogging’ the same speed I’m power walking.  She’s alone like me.  I ask her, “what’s our pace?  Are we doing ok?”  (I’m fully aware we are BEHIND the pace of 16 min/miles)  She tells me this is her first marathon.  I start to cry for some reason.  She’s pushing ahead, so I might as well also.

Mile 16 – I finally stop to pee.  And I find Michelle waiting for me as I got out of the port-a-potty!!!

Mile 17 – It’s finally time for the cold sponges.  Sadly, it’s not as refreshing as I wanted it to me.  I’m bummed and still really hot.

Mile 18 – There are Hershey’s kisses wrappers all over the floor.  Am I too slow that they’ve run out of candy?  Clearly the answer is ‘yes’.

Mile 18.5 – I see, what appears to be, and unwrapped Hershey’s kiss on top of a garbage can.  I consider grabbing it and eating it.  My legs are moving and I can’t make them stop, so I don’t eat the garbage candy.  #garbagecandy

Mile 19 – I stop to pee, again.  I also find Bryan!!!  (grey tank top).  Michelle and I also see Julie E. cheering us on inside the Braves stadium.  Yay fans!

Mile 20 – I stop to pee, again!  I also never run in to grey tank top anymore.  😦

Mile 21 – Peeing again.  This port-a-potty was DISGUSTING!!!  Just imagine the grossest thing in the world, and I sat ON it to pee.  Hey, it was either that or pee my pants.  I don’t know what’s going on with my bladder, but it’s completely out of control.

Mile 22 – We’re almost inside Hollywood Studios.  At this point Michelle is pretty much dragging me along.  I feel like an extra from the Walking Dead.

Mile 23 – I’m peeing again.  This time, at least I’m inside the bathroom by the old American Idol building.  Not a gross port-a-potty.  And, I have to WAIT IN LINE.  Come on Studios guests … let the marathoner cut in front of you.  Grrrrrr.

Mile 23.5 – We’re almost out of Studios.  Once we get to the walkway in a few feet, I know we’re home free.  Even though my pace is atrocious, and I should be picked up by the official pacers for going too slow, we’re almost to the point where they just let you finish.  I’m crying again … and this time it’s on camera.

Picture 3

Mile 24 – Aixa (a co-worker) gives us Twizzlers.  She also sneaks Michelle a Monster energy drink.

Mile 25 – We’re inside Epcot!!!  I turn on my traditional “All I do is win, win, win no matter what!” song and start plowing ahead.

Picture 1

Mile 25.3 – Marcy and Steve (runDisney friends) hand Michelle some wine.  One of Michelle’s other friends hands her some fruity booze.  Basically, Michelle 2-fists the alcohol the next quarter mile.

Mile 25.7 – The ‘balloon ladies’ pass us.  This is my first race I’ve ever even seen them, much less have them pass me.  If you’re unfamiliar with runDisney, there are some ‘unofficial’ women, who hold balloons, who start LAST and they maintain a 16 min/mile.  Basically, if they pass you, you probably shouldn’t be allowed to finish because you’re too slow.  But, we have about .4 miles left, so we’re all good.  I’m still not uber proud of myself to be passed by them.  My pride is hurt just a bit.

Mile 26 – Ahhhhhhhhh!

Mile 26.1 – My tradition is sprint as fast as I can to the finish line.  This time, Michelle and I cross the finish line with a light jog, but HUGE SMILES on our faces.

Picture 2

Mile 26.2 – It’s not the physical pain, but it’s the mental pain.  A marathon is tough, but it’s even more mental.  Quitting would’ve been so much easier, but not for the ego.

Will I do it again?  I’ve got 5 in the books.  I honestly think I’m done.  I keep doing them to prove to myself that I’ve still got some toughness left.  This one may have done me in though … we’ll see.

2016 Disney Marathon – why not?!?

I’m not remotely ready, nor do I really have time to get ready, but I’m all signed up!  I’ve actually completed the Disney marathon 4 times.  The first time was when I was 30.  This will be my last marathon (it’s really hard!) and I’m turning 40 a month before.

Back when I started doing runDisney events (2006?), you just casually signed up.  No big deal.

Now it’s a sport to sign up!  You’ve got to log on to their website exactly at noon on sign up day and be ready!

Here is the message I got when I logged on at noon.  It may seem scary at first, but I was in and out in about 15 minutes.

Picture 1Let the casual training begin!

Notes from the 2015 Princess Half Marathon

Picture 2I knew this would be a rough one. Normally after reach race I’m tired, but think, “ok – let’s do this again!” After the Princess half all I could think about was a nap.

However, I ALMOST achieved my goal of completing it under 16 min/miles (which is the required pace). If I’ve done the math correctly, I was only 15 seconds behind. I admit, around mile 9 I pretty much gave up on going fast and just cruised to the end. Was I too scared to push myself or was I too weak? I’m not super proud, but I am proud that I came pretty close.

Pre-race: It’s not that cold outside! Awesome.

Mile 1: My giant boobs full of breast milk hurt! How do people with big boobs do this?

Mile 2: There’s a hill! I’m gonna jog for 10 seconds. And I lost Brooke, who I was talking with. It’s ipod time! Also, am I doing a 15 min/mile pace with just power walking?!? Sweet!

Mile 3: I see a big dude wearing a red and dalmatian spotted sparkle shirt. He looks ridiculous. But he’s holding hands with a woman (who is struggling). Awwwww. I make the decision to walk until around mile 10. Then I’ll sprinkle in some jogging if I can. I don’t want to get too tired.

Mile 4: I see somebody with a “I’m proud of you complete stranger” note pinned to her back. Awwwww. Side cramp! Sweet Jesus, side cramp! Somebody’s got a sign that says, “admit it, you just peed a little”. How did they know?!? (or is it just the post-pregnancy pee just coming out?)

Mile 5: I see John. I know his name is John because he’s got his dating profile on the back of his Prince Charming shirt. He’s an attorney from Atlanta. This guy is a genius! I hope he scores a few dates. I also see 2 people with “I’m proud of you complete stranger” signs. Awwwwww.

Mile 6: I see Ellen at the Magic Kingdom! I can’t believe I spotted her out of the massive crowd. I’m also impressed she spotted me out of the mass of runners.

Mile 7: I’m really struggling. My back hurts. Somebody in front of me has a running belt that says, “there will be a day I cannot do this. Today is not that day.” Now I’m pumped up. Let’s do this!!!

Mile 8: (I must have mentally passed out, because I never saw the mile 8 marker. I kept thinking, “man, this is the longest mile ever .. where the heck is it?!?” And then I came up to mile 9. Spooky)

Mile 9: Oh no, I hear jingling. I can’t handing any more jingling Jasmine costumes or jingling gypsy costumes. Thankfully I’m going so slow that she passes me right away.

Mile 10: I see a guy dresses as Ariel. He’s wearing green sweatpants. My gosh, he must be soooooo hot! And there is no way in hell I’m doing any jogging. My body is just too weak.

Mile 11: I’ve been keeping pace with a girl dressed as a candy corn Princess. Her tutu has candy corn felt on it, she’s got a candy corn crown, and I think a candy corn necklace. I ask her about the amazing getup and she explained that her sister insisted that she HAD to dress as a Princess. Kudos weirdo, kudos! I also see some dude dressed as Elvis. He’s got the hair and the strut. He’s amazing!

Picture 1Mile 12: Time for “all I do is win, win, win no matter what!” on the ipod. I’m looking around Epcot for a friend with a “no time for Walken” (as in Christopher Walken). I don’t see it. But I did see Ellen inside Epcot! I must admit, it’s actually really amazing to know that somebody is waiting for you. It was really motivating to know what somebody cares.

Mile 13: I manage to ‘sprint’ to the finish line. However, the girls next to me decided to hold hands, skip and flail their arms all around, so I basically had to just duck out of the way.

Whew! Another 1/2 marathon in the books. I can’t wait to shed this 30 lbs and attempt to get under 3 hours. Bring on the Wine & Dine half in November!
Picture 3

It’s Princess 1/2 marathon time again!

Well, it’s time of year again.  It’s Princess half marathon weekend.

My least favorite thing in the world is Princesses, but I do enjoy the thrill and challenge of a ½ marathon.  And I do enjoy hanging out with my running friends.  So I’ll be out at Epcot bright and early on Sunday!

(by ‘bright and early’ I mean around 4am – ouch!)

Normally, for runDisney events, I’m trying to finish in a 14+minute per mile pace.  I  keep trying to get my ½ marathon time under 3 hours.  I came close last year with 3 hours and 3 minutes.

However, this year will be 100% different.  Being pregnant was pretty horrible, and I got 0 exercise.  I still have 30+lbs on me, and my muscles just don’t seem to be responding to anything I try.

My new goal – just to finish!  And I’d really, really, REALY like to finish with a 16 minute/mile (not 16 min 50 seconds, but 16 min and a few seconds).  Disney requires everybody to maintain a 16 min/mile pace.  However, I’ve found that they are pretty lax with this requirement sometimes (especially for the Princess ½ marathon).  Also, I’m in corral J (based on my numerous runDisney marathon and ½ marathons I assume), so that gives me about a 10 or 12 minute head start over the official timer.  So I can actually finish with about 17 min/miles and be just fine.

But for my own pride, I want to finish with in the stated rules.

Wish me luck!